Birth …death. A cycle that repeats incessantly. In a thousand worlds, in countless galaxies. Birth …death. The two sides of a knife. The same side of life.
In our reaction to death, to dying, we see that which is true in the universe.
APRIL IN LOS ANGELES
by Eileen Tabios
[4/2/06, A.M.]
1)
Everything is a relationship.
My family relied on the doctor to cure my father.
The doctor caught my mother in a weak moment and got her to concede, "Yes, he's dying."
I arrived in Los Angeles to hear my mother report on how a doctor discussed the best ways for a man to die, rather than how to heal.
"Doctor," I said in a conversation I plan to have. "Your role is not to advice how a person best dies. Your role is to treat illness, hopefully cure it."
I heard his thought, He's dying.
I replied with my eyes, We're all dying. We're also all living.
The words I said: "What do you recommend for someone who wants to live, with a family who wants him to live?"
2)
Since I last saw her, Mama has sprouted snow on her head.
Mama, ever by Daddy's bedside.
3)
F. beats himself inside his mind for having chided Dad for not eating. Later, we would learn his throat was blocked by so much phlegm he could not swallow.
Tears firmly jailed by the mind.
I beat myself up because I don't want to be here -- where Dad has shrunk to "Daddy" cradled among plastic tubes delivering antibiotics, antibiotics, antibiotics ... and oxygen.
4)
I am glad to be here. He saw me enter his hospital room and his face was suddenly the sun. His arms entwined with plastic tubes reached forth to hug me. I am glad he felt my arms, suddenly trees surrounding him. He hugged me back but I only felt more air.
5)
Kaiser Permanente -- ever stupid with cost-cutting cruelty. One hospital forced my father to leave -- "he's fine; he just needs to go home."
On the way home, Daddy started to have trouble breathing and they turned the car to take him to another Kaiser hospital's Emergency Room.
He is still in the Emergency Room.
Once, the ER nurse asked my mother in sincere confusion, "Why did the other hospital discharge him?"
A new question added to the list of questions which will never have adequate answers: How could the other hospital have discharged him?
6)
My father is better treated at the second hospital.
People matter.
At this second hospital, there is an experienced nurse with the ability to dislodge the phlegm that had been blocking my father's throat for five weeks in the other hospital.
They kept the jar with the sucked out phlegm. Ugly. Yellow. And the last piece sucked out was solid. Ugly. Brown.
"Like a piece of paper," my cousin observed about its solidity.
I would not be able to breathe, too, or swallow with paper stuffed down my throat.
As if my poems remained trapped there as I gasp unsuccessfully to sing.
I would not be able to breathe if my body jailed my poems.
My father is ill and I think of poetry and and and all of that saddens me.
==============
[4/2/06, P.M.]
7)
The conversation unfolded as I imagined it.
I asked, "Doctor, I'd like an update."
The doctor -- this one with a better "bedside manner" than any other Kaiser doctor I've met -- replied, "He's dying. I don't know what update I can give."
8)
My father's youngest son -- my brother -- died unexpectedly less than six months ago. At one point this evening, not knowing where next to turn my mind, I turned to a cousin H. to say, "If my father is to die soon, it's too bad he couldn't have died before my brother. It must be difficult for a parent to witness the death of a child."
In response, H. said nothing.
Belatedly, I remember that H., with whom I'd lost touch over the years, has two children, one age 2 and the other age 5.
9)
Except.
Except that since I arrived by his bedside, his condition markedly improved. Within hours after my arrival, he improved enough to be taken out of the emergency room. The technician unplugging his various tubes in preparation for moving him said, "It's always good news to be transferred out of ER."
Always?
10)
Later, I joked to Dad about how his improved condition must be due to my arrival. Grandiosely, I emphasized, "It must be my presence!"
He turned his head slightly, pretending otherwise. But his lips smiled.
He had called me a few weeks ago in the midst of delirium caused by his medicines. Not knowing what else to do, Mom had put him on the phone. That's when he scared me shitless by announcing, "I've got a tumor coming out of my nose."
Later, Mom would explain that the "tumor" was the feeding tube inserted through his nose. But, first, he pleaded with me to talk to Dr. G -- the very useless Dr. G -- to take away the tumor. To ease his mind, I lied and said I would. That's when he broke my heart by saying so plaintively, like a child just melting in relief, "Thank you."
As if I had the power to make things better.
The painful, conflict-ridden relationship we had all my life and, despite the criticisms he'd levied, he still believes me to be a bigger person than I know myself to be.
As if I had the power to make things better for him.
11)
I left him nearly 30 years ago. I have finally returned.
Finally.
12)
Everything is a relationship.
13)
As if I could make things better.
No. Thank you, Dad.
14)
The adult ages into child. The parent becomes a baby. The only difference, I thought as the tossed-aside blanket revealed how thin and ravaged his body has become, is that all babies are beautiful.
It took three seconds for my mind to skid, turn a corner and conclude, His ravaged body is beautiful. The purple bruises and purple lines of collapsed veins caused from too many intravenous tubes. The folds of skin loosened as his inability to eat pares down muscles and fat. The brown age spots. The skeletal legs undermined by lack of exercise. A body that I suddenly realized his daughter can probably carry.
Would carry.
O, Fallen Angel.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Kabalyero
What does kabalyero mean?
At any rate, she speaks of love and killing and incest. What else do you need? She joins the list of writers.
What does kabalyero mean?
At any rate, she speaks of love and killing and incest. What else do you need? She joins the list of writers.
Monday, August 30, 2004
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Asian American Poetry: The Next Generation
Edited by Victoria M. Chang
Foreword by Marilyn Chin
Filipino American poets featured
Rick Barot
Nick Carbo
Antonio Jocson
Aimee Nezhukumatathil
Oliver de la Paz
Jon Pineda
Marisa de los Santos
This exciting anthology of work by up-and-coming writers is the first to profile a new generation of Asian American poets. Building on the legacy of now-canonized poets, such as Li-Young Lee, Cathy Song, and Garrett Hongo, who were the first to achieve widespread recognition in the American literary community, this new generation also strikes off in bold new directions. Asian American Poetry: The Next Generation gathers for the first time a broad cross section of the very best work of these young poets, much of which has never before been published or has appeared only in hard-to-find journals and first books of poetry.
The poems collected in Asian American Poetry: The Next Generation lay a groundwork for readers while at the same time expanding the scope of American literature. Featured poets, all under the age of forty, include Timothy Liu, Adrienne Su, Nick Carbo, Sue Kwock Kim, Rick Barot, Brenda Shaughnessy, Mong-Lan, as well as less familiar names. Their backgrounds combine many ethnicities and their perspectives and concerns broaden the boundaries of Asian American poetry. Some continue with styles and topics closely related to those of their predecessors while others break conventional patterns and challenge readers with new subject matter, fresh language, and powerful new voices.
A foreword by Marilyn Chin puts the book in context of both Asian American national identity and history, and makes the important distinctions between generations clear. Asian American Poetry: The Next Generation opens the door on a dynamic, developing part of the poetic world, making it finally accessible to students, scholars, and poetry fans alike.
"The poems in this vibrant, varied collection address so many subjects in such a range of voices that it all but destroys monolithic notions of Asian American identity, culture, and issues."
-- Guiyou Huang, author of The Columbia Guide to Asian American Literature
"A new generation of Asian American poets has indeed risen and needs to be acknowledged and celebrated--something this book does brilliantly. Victoria Chang has done a great deal of digging, allowing the reader of this collection to experience again and again the excitement of discovering a vibrant new poetic voice."
-- Jim Daniels, author of City Pool and coeditor of American Poetry: The Next Generation.
Illinois Univ. Press
232 pages. 6 x 9 inches.
Cloth, ISBN 0-252-02905-4. $45.00
Paper, ISBN 0-252-07174-3. $20.00
Poetry / Asian-American Studies / Literature, American
Edited by Victoria M. Chang
Foreword by Marilyn Chin
Filipino American poets featured
Rick Barot
Nick Carbo
Antonio Jocson
Aimee Nezhukumatathil
Oliver de la Paz
Jon Pineda
Marisa de los Santos
This exciting anthology of work by up-and-coming writers is the first to profile a new generation of Asian American poets. Building on the legacy of now-canonized poets, such as Li-Young Lee, Cathy Song, and Garrett Hongo, who were the first to achieve widespread recognition in the American literary community, this new generation also strikes off in bold new directions. Asian American Poetry: The Next Generation gathers for the first time a broad cross section of the very best work of these young poets, much of which has never before been published or has appeared only in hard-to-find journals and first books of poetry.
The poems collected in Asian American Poetry: The Next Generation lay a groundwork for readers while at the same time expanding the scope of American literature. Featured poets, all under the age of forty, include Timothy Liu, Adrienne Su, Nick Carbo, Sue Kwock Kim, Rick Barot, Brenda Shaughnessy, Mong-Lan, as well as less familiar names. Their backgrounds combine many ethnicities and their perspectives and concerns broaden the boundaries of Asian American poetry. Some continue with styles and topics closely related to those of their predecessors while others break conventional patterns and challenge readers with new subject matter, fresh language, and powerful new voices.
A foreword by Marilyn Chin puts the book in context of both Asian American national identity and history, and makes the important distinctions between generations clear. Asian American Poetry: The Next Generation opens the door on a dynamic, developing part of the poetic world, making it finally accessible to students, scholars, and poetry fans alike.
"The poems in this vibrant, varied collection address so many subjects in such a range of voices that it all but destroys monolithic notions of Asian American identity, culture, and issues."
-- Guiyou Huang, author of The Columbia Guide to Asian American Literature
"A new generation of Asian American poets has indeed risen and needs to be acknowledged and celebrated--something this book does brilliantly. Victoria Chang has done a great deal of digging, allowing the reader of this collection to experience again and again the excitement of discovering a vibrant new poetic voice."
-- Jim Daniels, author of City Pool and coeditor of American Poetry: The Next Generation.
Illinois Univ. Press
232 pages. 6 x 9 inches.
Cloth, ISBN 0-252-02905-4. $45.00
Paper, ISBN 0-252-07174-3. $20.00
Poetry / Asian-American Studies / Literature, American
Sunday, May 02, 2004
Assignment for March 2004: Flipping the situation.
This is the poem that I forced to birth. It was a difficult assignment from Rollie Guess who my inspiration is: George W. Bush!!! He stammered, he yawed, he sank into oblivion when asked about the US soldiers who were taking photos of tortured Iraqis posed in the nude. Talk about having an idiot in the White House. We got one!
A Filipino-American Soldier in Afghanistan
(First days of the Gulf War II)
Barbarians! The whole lot of them.
Living in filth so that they can
humiliate and murder people.
Barbarians! They deserve to die!
A special place in hell awaits all these
who would be the bringers of jihad.
They will burn in the fires of damnation.
(December 2003 of Gulf War II)
Barbarians! They separate me from
my wife and children. If it were not them
I would be at home fixing my children's
Christmas presents. I will kill them for that!
I am doing God's work by bringing civilization
to the Middle East. I will sanctify
this land with the power of America
just like Spain civilized the Philippines.
(May 2004 of Gulf War II)
Barbarian! I killed a whole village yesterday
with the simple push of a button.
While the world trade center took four thousand
I have taken four thousand myself.
I will meet in hell the jihad warriors
whom I despised so much.
I am in hell.
This is the poem that I forced to birth. It was a difficult assignment from Rollie Guess who my inspiration is: George W. Bush!!! He stammered, he yawed, he sank into oblivion when asked about the US soldiers who were taking photos of tortured Iraqis posed in the nude. Talk about having an idiot in the White House. We got one!
A Filipino-American Soldier in Afghanistan
(First days of the Gulf War II)
Barbarians! The whole lot of them.
Living in filth so that they can
humiliate and murder people.
Barbarians! They deserve to die!
A special place in hell awaits all these
who would be the bringers of jihad.
They will burn in the fires of damnation.
(December 2003 of Gulf War II)
Barbarians! They separate me from
my wife and children. If it were not them
I would be at home fixing my children's
Christmas presents. I will kill them for that!
I am doing God's work by bringing civilization
to the Middle East. I will sanctify
this land with the power of America
just like Spain civilized the Philippines.
(May 2004 of Gulf War II)
Barbarian! I killed a whole village yesterday
with the simple push of a button.
While the world trade center took four thousand
I have taken four thousand myself.
I will meet in hell the jihad warriors
whom I despised so much.
I am in hell.
Sunday, March 14, 2004
A list of Pin@y Writings
NOVELS
Apostol, Gina. Bibliolepsy. U.P., 1997.
Babst, Arlene. Xeniteia. National, 1982.
Batacan, F.H. Smaller and Smaller Circles. U.P., 2002.
Brainard, Cecilia. Song of Yvonne. New Day, 1991. [The Day the Rainbow Goddess Wept, Plume, 1995]
Casper, Linda Ty. Awaiting Trespass. New Day, 1989.
__________. Dread Empire. Heinemann, 1982.
__________. Dream Eden. Ateneo, 1997.
__________. Fortress in a Plaza. New Day, 1985.
__________. The Hazards of Distance. New Day, 1981.
__________. The Peninsulars. Bookmark, 1964.
__________. A Small Party in the Garden. New Day, 1988.
__________. The Stranded Whale. Ateneo, 2002.
__________. Ten Thousand Seeds. Ateneo, 1987.
__________. Wings of Stone. New Day, 1990.
Chai. Arlene. The Last Time I Saw Mother. Fawcett Columbine, 1997.
__________. Eating Fire and Drinking Water. Review. 1998.
Castillo, Erwin. The Firewalkers. [Anvil, 1992]; U.P., 2003.
Dalisay, Jose. Killing Time in a Warm Place. Anvil, 1992.
Daroy, E. Vallado. Hazards of Memory. New Day, 1992.
Enriquez, Antonio. The Living in the Dead. Giraffe, 1994.
__________. Subanons. U.P. 1998.
__________. Surveyors of Liguasan Marsh. [Univ. of Queensland, 1981] A. Ruby/ARE, 1991.
Enriquez, Mig Alvarez. Devil Flower. National. 1977.
__________. House of Images. New Day, 1993.
Galang, Zoilo. A Child of Sorrow. [1921] PECO, 1924.
Gamalinda, Eric. Confessions of a Volcano. Anvil, 1990.
__________. The Empire of Memory. Anvil, 1992.
__________. My Sad Republic. U.P. 2000.
__________. Planet Waves. New Day, 1989.
Garrido, Wilfredo. Stolia. New Day, 1983.
Gil, Lakshmi. The Third Infinitive. Tsar, 1993.
Gonzalez, NVM. The Bamboo Dancers. Benipayo, 1960.
__________. A Season of Grace. Benipayo, 1956.
__________. Winds of April. U.P., 1998.
Groyon, Vicente. Sky Over Dimas. DLSU, 2003.
Hagedorn, Jessica. Dogeaters. Pantheon, 1990.
__________. Gangster of Love. Houghton Mifflin, 1996.
Hidalgo, Cristina Pantoja. Recuerdo. U.P., 1996.
__________. A Book of Dreams. U.P., 2001.
Holthe, Tess Uriza. When the Elephants Dance. Crown, 2002.
Ilio, Dominador. Guerrilla Memoirs. 1993.
Infante, Eddie. Affairs. New Day, 1984.
Javellana, Stevan. Without Seeing the Dawn. (1947) Phoenix, 1976.
Joaquin, Nick. Cave and Shadows. [National, 1983] Anvil, 2003.
__________. The Woman Who Had Two Navels. Regal, 1961.
Jose, F. Sionil. Ermita. Solidaridad, 1988.
__________. Gagamba. Solidaridad, 1991.
__________. Mass. Solidaridad, 1979.
__________. My Brother, My Executioner. New Day, 1979.
__________. Po-On. Solidaridad, 1984.
__________. The Pretenders. Solidaridad, 1962.
__________. Tree. Solidaridad, 1978.
__________. Two Filipino Women. Solidaridad, 1981.
__________. Viajero. Solidaridad, 1993.
Kalaw, Maximo. The Filipino Rebel. [1927] Filipiniana, 1964.
Laya, Juan, His Native Soil. [1940] Kayumanggi, 1972.
__________. This Barangay Inang Wika, 1950.
Lim, Paulino. Tiger Orchids on Mount Mayon. New Day, 1990.
__________. Requiem for a Dying Priest. New Day. 1996.
Linmark, Rinehart Zamora. Rolling the R’s. Kaya, 1995.
Madrid, Renato. Devil Wings. Ateneo, 1997.
__________. Mass for the Death of an Enemy. Ateneo, 2001.
Miraflor, Norma. Island of Wives. Mediamasters, 1994.
Moore, Lina Espina. The Honey, the Locusts. New Day, 1992.
__________. Heart of the Lotus. Solidaridad, 1970.
__________. A Lion in the House. New Day, 1980.
Nakpil, Carmen Guerrero. The Rice Conspiracy. Vessel, 1990.
Nolledo, Wilfredo. But for the Lovers. [Dutton, 1970] Dalkey, 1994.
Ong, Charlson. Embarrassment of Riches. U.P., 2000.
Ong, Hau. Fixer Chao. Farrar-Strauss, 2000.
Polotan, Kerima. The Hand of the Enemy. [Regal, 1961] U.P., 1998.
Realuyo, Bino. The Umbrella Country. Ballantine, 1999.
Reyes, Gracianus. Death in the Cordilleras. New Day, 1988.
__________. The Uncommitted. New Day, 1986.
Rosca, Ninotchka. State of War. [Norton] Phil. Edition, National, 1988.
__________. Twice Blessed. [Norton] Phil. Edition, IWS, St. Scholastica/ Gabriela, 1988.
Salanga, Alfrredo (and Romulo Sandoval). The Birthing of Hannibal Valdez (in two languages). New Day, 1984.
Santos, Bienvenido. The Man Who (Thought He) Looked Like Robert Taylor. New Day, 1983.
__________. The Praying Man. New Day, 1982.
__________. Villa Magdalena. New Day, 1965.
__________. The Volcano. New Day, 1965.
__________. What the Hell For You Left your Heart in San Francisco? New Day, 1987.
Sering, Tara F.T. “Getting Better,” Reconnaissance. U.P., 2003.
Skinner, Michele. Mango Seasons. Anvil, 1996.
Talag, Michele. The Sanchezes of Old Manila. National, 1978.
Tiempo, Edith. The Alien Corn. New Day, 1992.
__________. A Blade of Fern. [Heinemann, 1978] Giraffe, 1998.
__________. The Builder. Anvil, 2003.
__________. His Native Coast. [New Day, 1979.] U.P., 2000.
__________. One, Tilting Leaves. Giraffe, 1995.
Tiempo, Edilberto. The Cracked Mirror. New Day, 1984.
__________. More than Conquerors. 1964.
__________. The Standard Bearer. New Day, 1985.
__________. To Be Free. New Day, 1972.
__________. Watch in the Night. Archipelago, 1953.
Uranza, Azucena Grau. Bamboo in the Wind. Vera-Reyes, 1990.
__________. A Passing Season. New Day. 2002.
Yuson, Alfred. Great Philippine Jungle Energy Café. [Adriana, 1988] U.P., 1996.
__________. Voyeurs and Savages. Anvil. 1998.
NOVELS
Apostol, Gina. Bibliolepsy. U.P., 1997.
Babst, Arlene. Xeniteia. National, 1982.
Batacan, F.H. Smaller and Smaller Circles. U.P., 2002.
Brainard, Cecilia. Song of Yvonne. New Day, 1991. [The Day the Rainbow Goddess Wept, Plume, 1995]
Casper, Linda Ty. Awaiting Trespass. New Day, 1989.
__________. Dread Empire. Heinemann, 1982.
__________. Dream Eden. Ateneo, 1997.
__________. Fortress in a Plaza. New Day, 1985.
__________. The Hazards of Distance. New Day, 1981.
__________. The Peninsulars. Bookmark, 1964.
__________. A Small Party in the Garden. New Day, 1988.
__________. The Stranded Whale. Ateneo, 2002.
__________. Ten Thousand Seeds. Ateneo, 1987.
__________. Wings of Stone. New Day, 1990.
Chai. Arlene. The Last Time I Saw Mother. Fawcett Columbine, 1997.
__________. Eating Fire and Drinking Water. Review. 1998.
Castillo, Erwin. The Firewalkers. [Anvil, 1992]; U.P., 2003.
Dalisay, Jose. Killing Time in a Warm Place. Anvil, 1992.
Daroy, E. Vallado. Hazards of Memory. New Day, 1992.
Enriquez, Antonio. The Living in the Dead. Giraffe, 1994.
__________. Subanons. U.P. 1998.
__________. Surveyors of Liguasan Marsh. [Univ. of Queensland, 1981] A. Ruby/ARE, 1991.
Enriquez, Mig Alvarez. Devil Flower. National. 1977.
__________. House of Images. New Day, 1993.
Galang, Zoilo. A Child of Sorrow. [1921] PECO, 1924.
Gamalinda, Eric. Confessions of a Volcano. Anvil, 1990.
__________. The Empire of Memory. Anvil, 1992.
__________. My Sad Republic. U.P. 2000.
__________. Planet Waves. New Day, 1989.
Garrido, Wilfredo. Stolia. New Day, 1983.
Gil, Lakshmi. The Third Infinitive. Tsar, 1993.
Gonzalez, NVM. The Bamboo Dancers. Benipayo, 1960.
__________. A Season of Grace. Benipayo, 1956.
__________. Winds of April. U.P., 1998.
Groyon, Vicente. Sky Over Dimas. DLSU, 2003.
Hagedorn, Jessica. Dogeaters. Pantheon, 1990.
__________. Gangster of Love. Houghton Mifflin, 1996.
Hidalgo, Cristina Pantoja. Recuerdo. U.P., 1996.
__________. A Book of Dreams. U.P., 2001.
Holthe, Tess Uriza. When the Elephants Dance. Crown, 2002.
Ilio, Dominador. Guerrilla Memoirs. 1993.
Infante, Eddie. Affairs. New Day, 1984.
Javellana, Stevan. Without Seeing the Dawn. (1947) Phoenix, 1976.
Joaquin, Nick. Cave and Shadows. [National, 1983] Anvil, 2003.
__________. The Woman Who Had Two Navels. Regal, 1961.
Jose, F. Sionil. Ermita. Solidaridad, 1988.
__________. Gagamba. Solidaridad, 1991.
__________. Mass. Solidaridad, 1979.
__________. My Brother, My Executioner. New Day, 1979.
__________. Po-On. Solidaridad, 1984.
__________. The Pretenders. Solidaridad, 1962.
__________. Tree. Solidaridad, 1978.
__________. Two Filipino Women. Solidaridad, 1981.
__________. Viajero. Solidaridad, 1993.
Kalaw, Maximo. The Filipino Rebel. [1927] Filipiniana, 1964.
Laya, Juan, His Native Soil. [1940] Kayumanggi, 1972.
__________. This Barangay Inang Wika, 1950.
Lim, Paulino. Tiger Orchids on Mount Mayon. New Day, 1990.
__________. Requiem for a Dying Priest. New Day. 1996.
Linmark, Rinehart Zamora. Rolling the R’s. Kaya, 1995.
Madrid, Renato. Devil Wings. Ateneo, 1997.
__________. Mass for the Death of an Enemy. Ateneo, 2001.
Miraflor, Norma. Island of Wives. Mediamasters, 1994.
Moore, Lina Espina. The Honey, the Locusts. New Day, 1992.
__________. Heart of the Lotus. Solidaridad, 1970.
__________. A Lion in the House. New Day, 1980.
Nakpil, Carmen Guerrero. The Rice Conspiracy. Vessel, 1990.
Nolledo, Wilfredo. But for the Lovers. [Dutton, 1970] Dalkey, 1994.
Ong, Charlson. Embarrassment of Riches. U.P., 2000.
Ong, Hau. Fixer Chao. Farrar-Strauss, 2000.
Polotan, Kerima. The Hand of the Enemy. [Regal, 1961] U.P., 1998.
Realuyo, Bino. The Umbrella Country. Ballantine, 1999.
Reyes, Gracianus. Death in the Cordilleras. New Day, 1988.
__________. The Uncommitted. New Day, 1986.
Rosca, Ninotchka. State of War. [Norton] Phil. Edition, National, 1988.
__________. Twice Blessed. [Norton] Phil. Edition, IWS, St. Scholastica/ Gabriela, 1988.
Salanga, Alfrredo (and Romulo Sandoval). The Birthing of Hannibal Valdez (in two languages). New Day, 1984.
Santos, Bienvenido. The Man Who (Thought He) Looked Like Robert Taylor. New Day, 1983.
__________. The Praying Man. New Day, 1982.
__________. Villa Magdalena. New Day, 1965.
__________. The Volcano. New Day, 1965.
__________. What the Hell For You Left your Heart in San Francisco? New Day, 1987.
Sering, Tara F.T. “Getting Better,” Reconnaissance. U.P., 2003.
Skinner, Michele. Mango Seasons. Anvil, 1996.
Talag, Michele. The Sanchezes of Old Manila. National, 1978.
Tiempo, Edith. The Alien Corn. New Day, 1992.
__________. A Blade of Fern. [Heinemann, 1978] Giraffe, 1998.
__________. The Builder. Anvil, 2003.
__________. His Native Coast. [New Day, 1979.] U.P., 2000.
__________. One, Tilting Leaves. Giraffe, 1995.
Tiempo, Edilberto. The Cracked Mirror. New Day, 1984.
__________. More than Conquerors. 1964.
__________. The Standard Bearer. New Day, 1985.
__________. To Be Free. New Day, 1972.
__________. Watch in the Night. Archipelago, 1953.
Uranza, Azucena Grau. Bamboo in the Wind. Vera-Reyes, 1990.
__________. A Passing Season. New Day. 2002.
Yuson, Alfred. Great Philippine Jungle Energy Café. [Adriana, 1988] U.P., 1996.
__________. Voyeurs and Savages. Anvil. 1998.
for the SO
i am in love with a woman
who wields a sword as if
she was breastfeeding her child.
her stare reveals the many spirits
communing within her flesh.
they celebrate their lives
through her halad.
every strike a breath
every parry a laughter.
desire played a role in my life once
but now the heart skips,
flutters at the thought of her smile.
i am in love with a woman
who wields a sword as if
she was breastfeeding her child.
her stare reveals the many spirits
communing within her flesh.
they celebrate their lives
through her halad.
every strike a breath
every parry a laughter.
desire played a role in my life once
but now the heart skips,
flutters at the thought of her smile.
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Patrick Rosal
I finally figured out what it is about Patrick Rosal and why he is one of the vanguard of the golden age of Pin@y culture in America:
He's a slam poet but he is not the typical slam poet of MTV. There is a complexity to his poetry that is unmatched by other slammers. He is a true poet living in a slam poet's body.
I finally figured out what it is about Patrick Rosal and why he is one of the vanguard of the golden age of Pin@y culture in America:
He's a slam poet but he is not the typical slam poet of MTV. There is a complexity to his poetry that is unmatched by other slammers. He is a true poet living in a slam poet's body.
Friday, February 27, 2004
turon
buddha used to preside over the store with incense drifting from the ceiling.
but now the crucified christ has come to spread his worldly charm all over.
food used to be bountiful, the product of an economy unsurpassed in raw materials.
but ever since christ came, the portions have been smaller, the meat less tender.
i did not mind the change in proprietors. after all how can you screw up pinoy food?
boil the chicken and pork in toyo and suka for an hour and you have adobo,
boil the rice in water and kanin appears. fry the pork in oil and lechon kawali pops out.
scoop the ube on the mixed nata de coco, langka and sweet beans and halo-halo is served.
wrap a banana with langka as if making lumpia, place into boiling sugar cooked
over medium high heat and turon the king of all merienda makes an appearance.
but christ in his holy charity prescribes that perhaps we should practice poverty
humility and some sort of piety so the proprietor of the store quartered the banana
and meekly placed it into the turon.
buddha was aghast at what his son christ's follower did. quarter a banana?
ridiculous. the saba costs the shine of FDR or ten lincolns, at most maybe a
washington coin. buddha cried when all the lovely friends he made through the
years stopped visiting the temple where christ practices piety.
buddha used to preside over the store with incense drifting from the ceiling.
but now the crucified christ has come to spread his worldly charm all over.
food used to be bountiful, the product of an economy unsurpassed in raw materials.
but ever since christ came, the portions have been smaller, the meat less tender.
i did not mind the change in proprietors. after all how can you screw up pinoy food?
boil the chicken and pork in toyo and suka for an hour and you have adobo,
boil the rice in water and kanin appears. fry the pork in oil and lechon kawali pops out.
scoop the ube on the mixed nata de coco, langka and sweet beans and halo-halo is served.
wrap a banana with langka as if making lumpia, place into boiling sugar cooked
over medium high heat and turon the king of all merienda makes an appearance.
but christ in his holy charity prescribes that perhaps we should practice poverty
humility and some sort of piety so the proprietor of the store quartered the banana
and meekly placed it into the turon.
buddha was aghast at what his son christ's follower did. quarter a banana?
ridiculous. the saba costs the shine of FDR or ten lincolns, at most maybe a
washington coin. buddha cried when all the lovely friends he made through the
years stopped visiting the temple where christ practices piety.
slam poetry
i do not slam my poetry around
i'm afraid i do not have enough angst or anger
to summon the demons of alcohol, drugs or abuse
the worst my demons get is when i remember high school
i should have asked K to the dance floor or out for a walk
in UCLA's sculpture garden.
my parents never divorced each other though sometimes
i wonder if it would have been better if they did.
in america their lives were so intertwined by money that
petty jealousies would rear from something twenty years ago.
in the end though, my mother stayed in the hospital
as my father went through a series of chills and pills.
the closest my world came to an end was the death
of my mother. the sky was azurine blue with the hand of god
the wind gently kissed my ears and the sun was pure
the color of childhood milk. but worlds come to an end
and are reborn again if you choose to live your life.
slam fingers / slam feet do not materialize in the air
like cocaine fueling the economy. sometimes though when
the president wants a constitutional amendment to deprive
people of rights, my eye twitches, my fingers crack and
my head shakes at the stupidity of it all. but no, my fingers
do not point, my feet do not pace. my mind races and my heart
contorts at the absurdity. nothing else.
i am of age to a generation which never prized innocence because
it is only an illusion conjured up by ignorants and cowards. truth
comes in many forms and the more i and my generation see the
truth, the better of i and my generation are.
i do not slam my poetry around
i'm afraid i do not have enough angst or anger
to summon the demons of alcohol, drugs or abuse
the worst my demons get is when i remember high school
i should have asked K to the dance floor or out for a walk
in UCLA's sculpture garden.
my parents never divorced each other though sometimes
i wonder if it would have been better if they did.
in america their lives were so intertwined by money that
petty jealousies would rear from something twenty years ago.
in the end though, my mother stayed in the hospital
as my father went through a series of chills and pills.
the closest my world came to an end was the death
of my mother. the sky was azurine blue with the hand of god
the wind gently kissed my ears and the sun was pure
the color of childhood milk. but worlds come to an end
and are reborn again if you choose to live your life.
slam fingers / slam feet do not materialize in the air
like cocaine fueling the economy. sometimes though when
the president wants a constitutional amendment to deprive
people of rights, my eye twitches, my fingers crack and
my head shakes at the stupidity of it all. but no, my fingers
do not point, my feet do not pace. my mind races and my heart
contorts at the absurdity. nothing else.
i am of age to a generation which never prized innocence because
it is only an illusion conjured up by ignorants and cowards. truth
comes in many forms and the more i and my generation see the
truth, the better of i and my generation are.
Simula
psst! hoy!
ako ay isang kolonyal
buong buhay nakatago
sa limlim ng siyudad.
lumaki at lumakas
mula sa hapag kainan
ng telebisyon at radyo.
marami akong mga kamay
na tumutubo mula sa aking
katawan. nakatago nga lang.
kung gusto mo naman ay
mata, mayroon din akong
pitong sa pikit ay marikit.
ang buhok ng karanasan
ay nagbigay kislap sa aking
nuong limang lipad ang tangka.
psst! hoy!
sa iyong sarili hanapin
ang kapatid ko.
psst! hoy!
ako ay isang kolonyal
buong buhay nakatago
sa limlim ng siyudad.
lumaki at lumakas
mula sa hapag kainan
ng telebisyon at radyo.
marami akong mga kamay
na tumutubo mula sa aking
katawan. nakatago nga lang.
kung gusto mo naman ay
mata, mayroon din akong
pitong sa pikit ay marikit.
ang buhok ng karanasan
ay nagbigay kislap sa aking
nuong limang lipad ang tangka.
psst! hoy!
sa iyong sarili hanapin
ang kapatid ko.
Monday, February 16, 2004
Filipino Food Anthology Submission Guidelines
As expatriates, migrants, settlers in a world that
insists upon our Westernization, we lose so much. Our
language goes, economics necessitates the breakdown of
our family structures, and many of our cultural
foundations break down.
Increased urbanization has altered our living patterns
and our palettes. But what remains, unswervingly, are
our memories of food. Properly and lovingly prepared,
linked to rituals, a sense of community, geography.
Food brings us back to ourselves.
Submission guidelines:
-Up to 3 poems, short story, and/or other fictional
work.
-Each piece must make mention to or be inspired by at
least one Filipino dish. For example, green mango
shake would be considered a dish, but mangoes would
not.
-Included with the submission should be a recipe for
the referenced and inspiring dish(es). If all pieces
refer to only one dish, then one recipe may be
submitted. Author may choose which recipe to submit
if multiple dishes are mentioned in one piece.
Example: If all pieces refer to kare-kare, then one
recipe for kare-kare should be submitted. If the 3
pieces submitted refer separately to adobo, laing, and
kaldereta respectively, then a recipe for each of
these dishes should be included.
-Literary work may have been previously published.
However recipes may not have been previously
published.
-Author of literary work and recipe may be different.
-Author of literary work should have gotten permission
from recipe author for inclusion in anthology.
-Cover letter should include: short contributor's
bio(s), titles of pieces, list of recipe(s), and
contact info (name, address, and email or phone #)
Send cover letter with 2 copies of literary work and
recipes to:
The Filipino Food Anthology
c/o Barbara Reyes
1461 Alice Street #205
Oakland CA 94612
OR
Emailed in the body of the message (no attachments)
to:
pagkainbook@yahoo.com
DEADLINE: December 25, 2004
Do not send originals. Submissions will not be
returned. Questions may be sent to.
As expatriates, migrants, settlers in a world that
insists upon our Westernization, we lose so much. Our
language goes, economics necessitates the breakdown of
our family structures, and many of our cultural
foundations break down.
Increased urbanization has altered our living patterns
and our palettes. But what remains, unswervingly, are
our memories of food. Properly and lovingly prepared,
linked to rituals, a sense of community, geography.
Food brings us back to ourselves.
Submission guidelines:
-Up to 3 poems, short story, and/or other fictional
work.
-Each piece must make mention to or be inspired by at
least one Filipino dish. For example, green mango
shake would be considered a dish, but mangoes would
not.
-Included with the submission should be a recipe for
the referenced and inspiring dish(es). If all pieces
refer to only one dish, then one recipe may be
submitted. Author may choose which recipe to submit
if multiple dishes are mentioned in one piece.
Example: If all pieces refer to kare-kare, then one
recipe for kare-kare should be submitted. If the 3
pieces submitted refer separately to adobo, laing, and
kaldereta respectively, then a recipe for each of
these dishes should be included.
-Literary work may have been previously published.
However recipes may not have been previously
published.
-Author of literary work and recipe may be different.
-Author of literary work should have gotten permission
from recipe author for inclusion in anthology.
-Cover letter should include: short contributor's
bio(s), titles of pieces, list of recipe(s), and
contact info (name, address, and email or phone #)
Send cover letter with 2 copies of literary work and
recipes to:
The Filipino Food Anthology
c/o Barbara Reyes
1461 Alice Street #205
Oakland CA 94612
OR
Emailed in the body of the message (no attachments)
to:
pagkainbook@yahoo.com
DEADLINE: December 25, 2004
Do not send originals. Submissions will not be
returned. Questions may be sent to
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
STUDY POETRY IN TRINITY COLLEGE, DUBLIN IRELAND
this summer with poets
NICK CARBO
DENISE DUHAMEL
CAMPBELL McGRATH
July 12th-August 12th 2004 (that's one whole month!)
Cost of trip $3395* (includes airfare, lodging at Trinity College dorms located in center of Dublin, and many other extras like literary tours, pub crawls, book of kels, etc. etc.)
Come join us in one of the most literary cities in the world. Land of Joyce, Wilde, Yeats, Beckett and many more.
Study the craft of Poetry with award winning poets at historic Trinity
College in the heart of Dublin.
The program offers both graduate and undergraduate credit and is open to anyone interested in learning how to write poetry.
Courses qualify for Teacher Re-certification.
You do not need to be enrolled in a college or University to participate.
* Price subject to change due to currency fluctuations March 1 deadline for applications. Only few spaces left, so hurry and sign up!
For more information follow link:
http://2studyabroad.com/default.htm
this summer with poets
NICK CARBO
DENISE DUHAMEL
CAMPBELL McGRATH
July 12th-August 12th 2004 (that's one whole month!)
Cost of trip $3395* (includes airfare, lodging at Trinity College dorms located in center of Dublin, and many other extras like literary tours, pub crawls, book of kels, etc. etc.)
Come join us in one of the most literary cities in the world. Land of Joyce, Wilde, Yeats, Beckett and many more.
Study the craft of Poetry with award winning poets at historic Trinity
College in the heart of Dublin.
The program offers both graduate and undergraduate credit and is open to anyone interested in learning how to write poetry.
Courses qualify for Teacher Re-certification.
You do not need to be enrolled in a college or University to participate.
* Price subject to change due to currency fluctuations March 1 deadline for applications. Only few spaces left, so hurry and sign up!
For more information follow link:
http://2studyabroad.com/default.htm
Any composers out there in California?
Obtained from the flips list:
The San Francisco Bay Chapter of the American Composers Forum announces individual grants of from $500 to $1500 as part of its SUBITO advancement grant program to composers in northern California.
SUBITO is designed to give an immediate financial boost to composers and performers of new music at a time when this help would have a significant career-enhancing effect. The application process is uncomplicated, and the peer review process is streamlined to provide quick turnaround.
WHO CAN APPLY? composers, performers, and sound artists who are strongly dedicated to their art, who show artistic merit, and who propose an excellent project.
Applications will be accepted from March 1 through September 1, 2004.
For application materials and further information, visit:
www.sfcomposersforum.org
Obtained from the flips list:
The San Francisco Bay Chapter of the American Composers Forum announces individual grants of from $500 to $1500 as part of its SUBITO advancement grant program to composers in northern California.
SUBITO is designed to give an immediate financial boost to composers and performers of new music at a time when this help would have a significant career-enhancing effect. The application process is uncomplicated, and the peer review process is streamlined to provide quick turnaround.
WHO CAN APPLY? composers, performers, and sound artists who are strongly dedicated to their art, who show artistic merit, and who propose an excellent project.
Applications will be accepted from March 1 through September 1, 2004.
For application materials and further information, visit:
www.sfcomposersforum.org
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Subject: asian american lit magazine
If youve ever been or have known an Asian-American person who loved to write in between practicing piano to the tick of his or her mothers kitchen timer and applying to medical school, we welcome you or your friend to consider submitting to Asian Americas new literary home, Mortons Toe.
MT is a literary magazine dedicated to supporting a new generation of talented Asian-American writers. Each issue will contain a short story oressay or body of poems or other creative literary work by one Asian-Americanwriter in a well-designed, easy to read, easy to carry format.
We are looking for submissions of previously unpublished material between 3000 and 8000 words or something substantial. We offer $100 and 10contributor copies upon publication.
The magazines website will also feature an interview of each writer we publish as well as other promotional material. In short, we're not interested in just putting out a magazine; we want to create a community to support emerging Asian-American literary talent.
If this sounds all right by you, click www.mortons-toe.com to submit or for more details.
Sincerely,
MT
PS. please direct any questions to
info@mortons-toe.com or
mijinlee519@yahoo.com
If youve ever been or have known an Asian-American person who loved to write in between practicing piano to the tick of his or her mothers kitchen timer and applying to medical school, we welcome you or your friend to consider submitting to Asian Americas new literary home, Mortons Toe.
MT is a literary magazine dedicated to supporting a new generation of talented Asian-American writers. Each issue will contain a short story oressay or body of poems or other creative literary work by one Asian-Americanwriter in a well-designed, easy to read, easy to carry format.
We are looking for submissions of previously unpublished material between 3000 and 8000 words or something substantial. We offer $100 and 10contributor copies upon publication.
The magazines website will also feature an interview of each writer we publish as well as other promotional material. In short, we're not interested in just putting out a magazine; we want to create a community to support emerging Asian-American literary talent.
If this sounds all right by you, click www.mortons-toe.com to submit or for more details.
Sincerely,
MT
PS. please direct any questions to
info@mortons-toe.com or
mijinlee519@yahoo.com
Monday, January 19, 2004
Ethnic Writer
One of the preoccupations I have had recently is to analyze the poems which won the Palanca awards in the Philippines during the 1980's. That decade is so prominent because of the social and political upheaval which took place to dislodge and drive away a dictator. When people feel that dying to attain freedom is more important than living in metaphysical chains, dictators have no recourse but to leave.
Examining the poems, I can't help but notice that there are no references to Philippine mythology though there are adequate references to Greek mythology. It is interesting to note that some poets even sound British or American in their usage and choice of language. I have discussed before how Filipinos often subvert a dominant paradigm and transform it into something distinctly Filipino. However, in my readings of the Palanca poems, I do not detect said subversion.
I am sure that there many other writers who wrote during the 1980's poems that were more nationalistic or more centered on being Filipino. Their absence in the anthology can probably be explained through the hypothesis that these writers did not win in the competition. What does that say then for the judges of the Palanca award?
In writing, there are always choices. What I have found is that each individual writer makes a conscious decision about the nature of his writing. I have consciously decided to make poems which explore the colonizing influence of America and Spain in my Filipino psyche. The poet Eileen Tabios chooses to subvert the English language by being an avant-garde in poetics because the narrative form has been used in the colonization of the world.
It is interesting to note that Joel Tan is examining publication and the expectations on an ethnic writer. It almost seems like he is making conscious decision to compromise the art for the sake of publication. At least that is my take on it from the excerpt above.
This experience reinforced my belief about the racial politics of publishing. Prior to submitting, I had a hunch that the editor would choose the poem that was more “ethnic” over the poem that was contemporary and not culturally specific.... I knew that my work would be more appealing if I wrote race and culture in a way that added a gratuitous diversity to the collection of poems even if the poem was largely fabricated. Because I am an ethnic writer, I was expected to create ethnic work...
--Joel Tan, from his PINOYPOETICS essay excerpted in Jan. 7 blog entry
One of the preoccupations I have had recently is to analyze the poems which won the Palanca awards in the Philippines during the 1980's. That decade is so prominent because of the social and political upheaval which took place to dislodge and drive away a dictator. When people feel that dying to attain freedom is more important than living in metaphysical chains, dictators have no recourse but to leave.
Examining the poems, I can't help but notice that there are no references to Philippine mythology though there are adequate references to Greek mythology. It is interesting to note that some poets even sound British or American in their usage and choice of language. I have discussed before how Filipinos often subvert a dominant paradigm and transform it into something distinctly Filipino. However, in my readings of the Palanca poems, I do not detect said subversion.
I am sure that there many other writers who wrote during the 1980's poems that were more nationalistic or more centered on being Filipino. Their absence in the anthology can probably be explained through the hypothesis that these writers did not win in the competition. What does that say then for the judges of the Palanca award?
In writing, there are always choices. What I have found is that each individual writer makes a conscious decision about the nature of his writing. I have consciously decided to make poems which explore the colonizing influence of America and Spain in my Filipino psyche. The poet Eileen Tabios chooses to subvert the English language by being an avant-garde in poetics because the narrative form has been used in the colonization of the world.
It is interesting to note that Joel Tan is examining publication and the expectations on an ethnic writer. It almost seems like he is making conscious decision to compromise the art for the sake of publication. At least that is my take on it from the excerpt above.
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